Also a bad idea is giving the company picnic a theme. Themes are nature's way of saying "You are the worst HR person on the planet and everyone hates you even though you totally gave us a pass on that whole "public masturbation" fiasco a while back." If a themed company picnic was stranded on a desert island with a bunch of other company picnics, the theme one is the one that gets killed by a rock while the other picnics dance around the fire chanting "Kill the Pig! Kill the Pig!"* If a themed company picnic were a tree, it would be the sort of tree that sucks and that I hate.
I think making analogies is my God-given talent.
This would have been a much cooler theme.
Also also a bad idea is to make that themed company picnic's theme be "Hippies." Because "fuck that" and also because dressing a group of people I dislike up as a group of people I despise is practically sending out invitations to a sniping at the bell-tower and then NOT inviting me, but my other sniper friends let it slip accidentally that it's happening because they get a little too drunk and then I get wide eyes looking from person to person during the uncomfortable silence that follows and one sniper-friend is all "Ummmm.." and another sniper-friend looks at his shoes and chugs his beer, and another sniper-friend is all "Maybe your invite got lost in the...." but he trails off when he sees the looks he's getting from the other sniper-friends and you realize that you are the nerd sniper-friend that invites himself to all the cool sniper parties and no one really likes you, so then you leave the party in a huff and find the car of the sniper who's having the bell-tower meeting and you take a shit right on his front seat in protest. And then you go on a three state shooting spree and kill everybody involved. That's EXACTLY what theming the company picnic "Hippies" is like to me.
And sure, maybe they did have a dunk booth for all the managers** to get in and then for a buck you get to try to knock them into the water for charity. But you know what's better than that? Shitting in the front seat of their car while they are in the dunk booth. And writing the words "Burn in Hell" on their dashboard with your feces and then pissing in the glove-box and then running away.
This totally doesn't count as an admission of guilt according to the crack legal team I have in my mind.
*Read a book, knucklehead. ps: Reading is FUN-damental!
** What is this, the State Fair from 19-ought-5? Instead of a dunk booth they should have had a JUNK booth where if somebody hits the plunger the manager gets teabagged by a sweaty hobo. I'd definitely give a dollar to Breast Cancer Research for three chances at that.