"So it starts out and I'm in this [WEIRD PLACE] (abandoned mall/ shopping cart/ giant vagina/ etc...) and there's this [WEIRD POSSIBLY SYMBOLIC THING] (talking donkey/ giant white asparagus / fire-breathing penis / Keanu Reeves) and then...."
That's usually about as far as I get. Then I start to wonder if I need to pick up some new underwear because unless I'm mistaken I can feel jeans on my testicles but I can't really check now because this person is still talking about this stupid dream shit and Hey! I wonder if I can still hold my breath for a whole minute if I only allow exhales and no inhales? This would be a good time to train. Uh-oh..I better say something...
"And THEN we go to [ANOTHER WEIRD PLACE] and guess who's there? [SURPRISING PERSON] (dead relative / Danny Glover as Roger Murtough in Lethal Weapon 2 where he's about to get exploded on the toilet/ Your Mom having sex with four members of Parliament.)..."
So all THAT nonsense was a lead in to this exciting post where I talk about a dream I just had during a micro-nap, which is pretty much just like a regular nap only sexier. And the only thing I had time for in this nap was a sentence. So already I'm going to one-up all you dream-telling posers because my dream is short and to the point and doesn't have any symbolism at all because it's just a voice saying these words:
"You mean, if I had stuck this banana-cream pie down my pants, we wouldn't have crashed?"
As you can see, my psyche, like my calf-muscles, is highly efficient and let's me do all my sub-conscious navel-gazing while I'm AWAKE! Why a BANANA cream pie? Is that code for "semen"? (I'm pretty sure that's code for semen.) What was crashing? A plane? The Stock market? My flagging belief in the possibility that I will one day be infected with nano-robots and become super-strong? Maybe the most interesting part of this whole thing is... (*snore*).
This is what I get when I google searched "pie in the balls" because I wanted an old-timey vaudeville, ha-cha-cha-chaaa! picture to go along with this post: