This picture has nothing to do with this post. It just makes me laugh.
I was going to write this whole post in defense of Skanks because I feel like everyone is racist against them even though they provide the valuable service of passing out on the pool table in the middle of a crowded party with their skirt hiked up around their waist, and I don't know about you but that is the vision of an America I want to live in, where the vaginas are easy to look at and the suggestive eyebrow waggles as she opens a container of Altoids flow like milk and honey. I don't know what that even means. Honey doesn't even hardly flow.
Anyway(s), I started that post but it always ended up being an elaborate "your mom" joke, and I like to think that I am above that even though that is obviously super-self-deceptionish and really the only thing I am above when it comes to your mom is the cellar porn-dungeon where I keep her. Here's a taste of what I am too classy to post:
"Now I first became Pro-Skank when I rolled off your mom the other day and she asked me to pass over her smokes and then proceeded to blow her nose in her panties which she pulled out of her handbag. And I thought 'I wonder what there is to eat in the fridge? Maybe there is still some of that salami left. That was delicious!' and then I thought "I wonder if those estrogen pills I just stole from her can get me high?' but THEN I thought 'Someone ought to ask her if she needs cab fare to a clinic or something because that smell can't be normal...but who?' "
So basically I can sum up the whole post thusly :
1) The word "skank" is super-funny.
2) Your Mom is a whore.
Not exactly mankind's first step on the moon or anything, but I think there is a time and a place for between breaking new ground in blogging and that time for me is "later" and that place is "Kangaroos" because I stopped paying attention a while back and I just saw a picture of some kangaroos. Hey look. I can't be this handsome AND focused. Jesus. Sometimes your neediness really gets to me.
In defense of my own misogyny, here is a picture from the Slave Girl Princess Leia Car Wash that was held in LA a few days ago. Now I'm no genius lawyer, but I think we can all agree that this case should be dismissed and I should be remanded to the custody of Your Mom.