I've been trying to write a post all morning but nothing is working, so instead I'm going to post all the false starts because (*dismissive wanking motion*) Enjoy. Or don't. I'm not your mom. You can tell I'm not because I can't shoot ping pong balls across the room with my vagina or scream safewords in German.
***Some people say that one of the hardest parts of growing older is my wang. HAHAHAHAHA! just kidding...no one says that. Everyone probably thinks it though because I keep the broken off arm of a baby doll in my pants and sure maybe people see it sticking through my super-tight jeans and think "Jesus Christ. He has a hand on the end of his very crooked penis!", but I'm not about to correct them because curiosity killed the cat and a hand on the end of the wang killed people not paying attention to my crotch.
But what I was really saying was that one of the hardest about growing older is coming to terms with your impeding death. The notion that the mortal body is a vessel through which...
Man, that was really boring. Here! Look at this cat! She's upset because of the embarrassing date she got stuck taking to the cat prom! HAHAHHAAHA!! Cats are hilarious!!
See I always post pictures of cats when all I can think to write about is stuff that is super-obscene or taboo. Like that one time when your mom....
FOR MORE INFORMATION ON BEING HANDSOME: Go Read my post over at Mama Pop.