Monday, April 19, 2010

Updated!: Now With Handy "Title" For Future Reference.

I've been trying to write a post all morning but nothing is working, so instead I'm going to post all the false starts because (*dismissive wanking motion*) Enjoy. Or don't. I'm not your mom. You can tell I'm not because I can't shoot ping pong balls across the room with my vagina or scream safewords in German.

***
Some people say that one of the hardest parts of growing older is my wang. HAHAHAHAHA! just kidding...no one says that. Everyone probably thinks it though because I keep the broken off arm of a baby doll in my pants and sure maybe people see it sticking through my super-tight jeans and think "Jesus Christ. He has a hand on the end of his very crooked penis!", but I'm not about to correct them because curiosity killed the cat and a hand on the end of the wang killed people not paying attention to my crotch.

But what I was really saying was that one of the hardest about growing older is coming to terms with your impeding death. The notion that the mortal body is a vessel through which...

Man, that was really boring. Here! Look at this cat! She's upset because of the embarrassing date she got stuck taking to the cat prom! HAHAHHAAHA!! Cats are hilarious!!

Something, something...get some pussy later.


See I always post pictures of cats when all I can think to write about is stuff that is super-obscene or taboo. Like that one time when your mom....


Cats walk on FOUR legs not TWO, you silly cat!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHA!!

Shoot me.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON BEING HANDSOME: Go Read my post over at Mama Pop.

14 comments:

Jen O. said...

That cat has impeccable posture.

Roxanne-and-Lorraine said...

My blog partner in crime posts pictures of cats all the time. I've got to ask if she does it to help refrain from posting about my moms, or your moms for that matter, or if those things really make her giggle.

*dismissive wanking motion* back at you doll.

Kisses.
Lorraine.

Megs said...

The moral I am taking from this is that getting older sucks but pictures of cats take away the pain.

Or maybe the moral is that holy crap I never knew that about my mom. And its scary, knowing these things about my mom, but pictures of cats can make me forget the mental images.

No. There are not enough cat pictures in the world.

Sarah P said...

It must feel really good to shake hands.

zachary said...

HAHAHA!! You're one crazy man..
Entertaining!

miss. chief said...

Wow, a zinger right off the bat. That's what she said. (?) I'm trying too hard. But I like cats. The end.

BeckEye said...

Actually, I just told someone the other day that, "One of the hardest parts of growing older is The Monster Apathy's wang." So there. People DO say that.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Hi, it's me, back for the 10th time today, still giggling at the baby arm and cat prom. Super slow building armpit farts for you, Kurt.

Ed said...

I might have to try the baby arm in my pants trick. Wait though, does that mean if someone gives me a blow job, it's really a hand job?

Nice pussy pics.

Miss Yvonne said...

I've got bloggers block right now. I came over here to get inspired. Instead I get baby arm penis. Damn it.

Belle said...

Sadly, I think that cat may have just been hung and the noose is invisible.

You should totally go with bulldog pictures when you need something to write about.

A Vapid Blonde said...

I don't even want to go into the arm/fist as a sex toy thingy that I saw just the other day.

Kittens sure are cute.

Cynthia said...

Oh how I've missed your penis aggrandizing, stream of consciousness blogs! That comma is there for propriety's sake. I felt like the word "stream"" needed to be more seperated from the word "penis".

Tgoette said...

Nicely done! Very funny post! I've always said that the internet desperately needs more pics of pussies and much more penis, the more contorted and hand-shaped the better. Thank you for providing a valuable public service!