Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Pretty Much The Low-Point In My Career as a "Writer"

I was going to post something clever but then I sobered up so too bad for you. In the interim here's some Lego© porn . (*shrugs*)



Even though I'm pretty sure I invented the sex dungeon, I never get any credit. It's probably because I'm so handsome. Everyone thinks that's enough. Well, I'm more than just a pretty face, and a gorgeous body and a winning smile.



You may be asking yourself "Why the hell did he post Lego Porn?" I think the real question is "Why are you looking at it?"

You're really messed up, Yo.

14 comments:

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

What makes each scene believable is the rapey facial hair. Otherwise, nah, not buying it.

Ed Adams said...

I'm slightly turned on by this.

That's probably because I'm hung like a Lego.

Wow, that was awkward said...

I made some nativity set porn scenes over the holidays. I kept the animals on animals and people on people though. I thought that was respectful.

Sarah P said...

This kind of makes me want to sit on a short, round cylinder. Kind of.

This is weird. I'm playing with Mr. Potato Head right now.

*waves furiously from across the perverted playroom*

The Jules said...

That pole dancer's boobs look fake.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I don't buy it. The penetrator in the top photo is obviously on a break from The Village People. No way would he be sticking it in a lady.

Jaimi said...

The top one looks vintage.

Nikki said...

I like making toys have sex. It gives my life meaning.

Vic said...

The first picture is way more like Lego Massage Parlor. The one in back is waiting for her wax.

Not that I looked at the pictures.

Secret Agent K said...

Why is the guy in the first one all high up like that? wtf he thinks he's better then the others? pssht at least if he had a camera it would be okay...

ps~ Becky said rapey! That's #1 on the list of words I need to work into a conversation

Miss Yvonne said...

If I had actually looked at the pictures, I would be commenting on how funny it is that the guy in the second one is holding what appears to be a drill because hahaha! get it? Drill!

But I didn't look, so forget it.

sassystitcher said...

I really never thought I'd have to introduce the phrase "Lego porn" into my rotation, but I think I have to now.

I found out last night that my friend I generally send your posts to (here and from mamapop), he isn't understanding them. Now I'm wondering if I picked the wrong friend to share with...even though I'm guessing he'd love some Lego porn of his own...

Chelle said...

Total rip off of my awesome lego-to-life re-enactments... except my life is never porn. *sigh*

Kurt said...

@Becks: Facial hair is pretty much how they catch all rapists. Goatee = jail.

@Ed Adams: Bragger.

@WTWA: Jesus would have wanted it that way.

@Sarah P.: I feel like holding a plastic drill and looking luridly at the imaginary camera. I just did it and the sales people at Toys R Us seem a little scared.

@The Jules: Yeah she totally had work done. Also Daddy issues.

@VA: I bet he humps Lego Darth Maul all the time.

@Jaimi: It does. The only thing better than Lego Porn is 70's retro Lego Porn.

@Nikki: Well of course it does.

@Vic: I'm concerned about the kind of places you are going to get "waxed", Vic.

@SAK: Maybe he just doesn't know how sex goes. Or he's going to pee on her. Lego people can be freaky.

@Miss Y: I don't get it. I'll ask your mom tonight.

@SassyStitcher: "Lego Porn" is a handy way to describe lots of things. Most involve pedophilia...but still.