Now I'm not positive what the meeting was about but I'm pretty sure I heard the speaker say we should all "Embrace Adversity" or something and then he started talking about all these different ethnic groups and I was all "Man! That's so racist! I don't think working with people of different cultural backgrounds qualifies as 'adversity'!" , but my indignation was quickly forgotten because that Three Musketeers© was calling me and if it were a friend on the telephone it would have said "Hey man! You should come over here and eat me." and I don't know what kind of friends YOU have, but mine were delicious.
And then I got to thinking about it and what if by "Embrace Adversity" they meant they wanted us to like try and do our jobs while fighting off dinosaurs, because that is pretty much the most adverse work environment I can think of. Fighting dinosaurs while listening to Ashlee Simpson albums.(zing!) Wait. Is Ashlee Simpson still even a relevant reference? I don't know. But I do know dinosaurs, and when I say I would have to battle dinosaurs I don't mean pussy dinosaurs like Hadrosaurus who has consistently demonstrated an advanced matriarchal society in the fossil record with strong indications that they reared their babies through pubescence and into adulthood. Oh good for YOU, Hadrosaur! Way to be the shining star of the dino world. All the others hate you, you goddamn suck up. I'm not even talking about you anyway(s) because I mean nasty motherfuckers like velociraptor and T. Rex and Your Mom (zing! zing!). And thinking about trying to do my job while battling your mom's-a-sore-ass, or that swimmy one that looks like Nessie and I think it would be very difficulty indeed, and if that's the kind of Adversity I need to embrace, you can count me out.
I think these historical images of what happens when people try living with Dinosaurs speak for themselves, but if not allow me to say "No THANK you!"
I'll take the kind like they were talking about where I have to work with Mexicans, thank you very much. That's as much adversity* as I can take. I still say that's racist though.
Moral: I want a Three Musketeers©
*Turns out they were saying "diversity" which makes a lot more sense, and is way easier to embrace than "adversity". It would be like choosing between hugging a handsome, majestic unicorn or hugging your mom when she's on a tequila bender and has got a mean streak on.