I hate legalese.
As part of my Nobel Prize-winning* expertness, I have inspired many great works of art that pretty much benefit all of mankind, but mostly me. And one such offering was made last week after I showed conclusively that I like Pop Tarts© and also that super-imposing South America onto Africa proves God loved dinosaurs as much as he loves kittens and jellyfish and fucking eels or whatever. My Friend Dan took that song that I wrote and made it into a real boy. Okay, not a boy, but he did make a pretty guitar song out of it and he says "fuck" a lot, so I think we can all agree that he should win an Oscar or a Tony, even though he's totally not gay.
Here's the link to his song. Everyone should go listen and then come back and tell me how brilliant I am and how Dan is "getting there"**
*Pending. I think the Swedes all hate me, because of that one time I went there and did something offensive to their culture that I still don't even know what it is, because who has time to look up Sweden in the Wikipedia and find something clever and funny to make fun of. All I can think of that is Swedish is meatballs, and the Chef from The Muppet Show. And I would never make fun of him because he's a hilarious stereotype.
**Dan is all show-offy with his "Doctorate" in "Theoretical Statistics" or whatever. I asked him what it meant one time and he gave me a swirly, so I don't even ask anymore. I just assume it's got something to do with understanding how handsome I am. It takes years to get a handle on that shit.