But no. You have to be all "Look at my Leaves!!!" You big show-off. Why do you have to be that way Autumn? Didn't your Dad pay enough attention to you as a child? We're you like the middle child or something? Why do you have to rub my nose in things? No one likes a bragger, Autumn. No one. You're like that kid who always raises his hand in class and has all the answers but nobody will date him because he wears his Quiet Riot iron-on decal shirt like three days a week and has big brown glasses and totally is into D&D. D&D can be sexy, you miserable season. Ask all the girls I never met but I'm sure who are out there. D&D pretty much makes girls panties explode and that's why we played all the time, not because our own social skills revolved around quoting Monty Python and making jokes about math. Things change, Autumn. That's your whole point isn't it? You Effing Jerk.
Oh sure. Some people are all "The leaves are so pretty. Let's have a harvest festival." Well those people come from the kind of broken homes where supportive parents who encourage their kids to accept the passage of time with some type of dignity. But the other word for that is incest. I know I read that somewhere or maybe I just made it up but you get my point. Answer me this. If I was so freaked out about getting old would I spend so much time seeking the approval of random strangers on the Internet instead of forming lasting relationships with actually people existing in the real world? If I wasn't coping with turning 40 in a couple years, would I be comfortable sitting at home and drinking Brandy Alexanders with imaginary voices in my head all day. Hardly. I would kindly ask that you please shut the fuck up now. I think you can pick up what I'm laying down.
I have to go, the new CSI is about to come on.