The reason I haven't been around is I've been on an amazing adventure filled with romance, and swashbuckling* and box-jellyfish which can totally kill you. I think death by jellyfish is about the dumbest way to die there is. It's not like they can grab you or anything. Just don't...you know...go near them. And Voila! You've escaped with your life. It would be way harder if they had arms or could get out of the water or had brains. My point is, jellyfish are an asshole but you should be able to thwart their plans because their plans are usually like "Float."
That's not very diabolical.
I didn't actually encounter any of these terrible animals but saw a documentary on them on the History Channel, so...same thing. And also, as part of my adventure I had to eat a lot of room service food and I don't know about you but eating a $12 bowl of Frosted Flakes© made me feel super-fancy and like I needed a monocle and a top hat and they should have been served to me by some english butler who looks like Anthony Hopkins, instead of the startlingly white-sounding latino gentleman who brought it to our door. I don't know if the flakes were covered in invisible gold or what, but they totally tasted normal.
I have a real issue with Frosted Flakes because they used to be a delicious kid cereal, but some ad executive decided "Hey! These don't have a TON of sugar in them! That's PRACTICALLY healthy!" so now instead of a friendly tiger bursting into my kitchenette** and telling me "They're GREAT!" All the commercials look like a Gatorade© spot and the kids are running around and Tony the Tiger is their coach and it's all about how Frosted Flakes© are a great and healthy way to start your day and no, never mind that they're FROSTED...totally healthy and the logo even looks like a sports drink logo so... Case closed! They're the new Wheaties© !Well I'm not buying in and if Archibald the Whitest Mexican had come back to collect the tray I would have told him so.
*"swashbuckling" in this case means not putting a towel down on the bathroom floor making it a serious slip-and-fall hazard and also jumping on the bed whilst shouting "Freedom!" like in Braveheart and "I'd fuck me!" like Jame Gumb from Silence of the Lambs.
** If a real tiger ever burst into my kitchenette, I would have to exact my revenge on it by just making sure I was hard to digest.