But I'm not going to write about dinosaurs because some alarming evidence has just come to light, and I imagine my partner who is chewing on a toothpick throwing this across my desk from a small distance and it's in a manilla folder, which sound like "Nilla Wafer© which is the coolest cookie ever when you are like two, and the folder is stuffed with information, and Oh yeah! I'm in a police station. Did I mention that? And my partner is all "Feast your eyes..." real ominous-like, but I think she says "Feet or Thighs?" because of the toothpick and I'm not even sure what she is asking but I say "Thighs, I guess?" and she just gives me a look and then does a high kick to fix her pants from falling down because that's how she rolls. And maybe handcuffed to my desk is a prisoner who I am booking, and he is demanding to see his lawyer, so my partner comes over and makes duck noises at him while she tickles his armpits because I have to concentrate on this important new evidence. Don't look at me like that. I'm pretty much the leading expert on police procedure.
Wait no...maybe instead of a prisoner there can be a velociraptor chained to my desk. That would be awesome and would scare away any lookie-loos who wanted to look over my shoulder and read my stunning new evidence. They'd be all "Hey I wonder what Supreme Chief Executive Policeman Kurt is reading?" and then "Holy Fuck! Did you arrest a dinosaur? That's badass!" and then they would pick me up and carry me around the precinct on their shoulders and maybe the ceiling fan would clip me in the forehead and knock me out and blood would spray everywhere because everyone knows forehead cuts are the most vicious and this would make the velociraptor crazy so he would break out and start eating everyone and it wouldn't calm down until the whole squadroom is a bloodbath and finally my partner subdues the beast with some Nilla Wafers© and armpit ducks.
For those interested: You can go here and see how long you would last chained to bunkbed with a velociraptor. Here's a hint though: Not very long.