I will try in every area of my life to be a better person. I will challenge myself daily. I will seek the exceptional and reject the mundane. I will surround myself only with those who will impact me positively. I will continuously attempt to make the world a better place. I will stand firm against injustices and tyranny. I will improve the lives of those around me on an ongoing basis.
That's sounds pretty impressive, but when I go back and read it, it makes me tired. The more I think about the ramifications the more I wonder if maybe I wasn't being too ambitious. Like trying to be a better person in every area of my life? What about excreting? I see no need to improve that process. I'm pretty much the Iron Chef of Defecation. I don't even know what that means...but still. And challenging myself daily? That seems tiring and like I'm all stuck up and can't just chill out with my homies and like I'm no longer just Kurty from the block, or whatever so that needs some work. I am already exceptional so I don't really need to seek it, and the mundane is kinda cool and also it's re-run time on tv so I kinda have to tolerate the mundane. I like the part about only surrounding myself with those who will impact me positively, but it needs a little spicing up. I can combine that part with the "world a better place" bit and the awesome injustices and tyranny part. Anyone who uses "tyranny" in their personal mission statement is pretty much the best person you've ever met.
I will try in every area of my life to be a better person except for pooping because I already rock the hizz-ouse at that and also eating Pop Tarts. I will challenge myself daily but not super-hard or anything because I don't think I'm better than anyone. Okay... that's a lie. I'm pretty sure I'm better than most people but in a kind way. Like I'll try and not treat you like an incompetant asshole all the time unless you piss me off. I will
seek the exceptional recognize how awesome I am by flexing in the mirror every day and kissing my biceps and reject the mundane try not to watch too many old episodes of Baywatch© unless it's during the Pam Anderson years because her boobies flounce gloriously. I will surround myself only with those who will impact me positively other superheros and we will form a society of superbeings who will totally . I will continuously attempt to make the world a better place. And using my powers and genius intellect I will stand firm against injustices and tyranny unless they are perpetrated by the US because I'm pretty much the most Patriotic person ever except when they cancel good TV shows and then I'm all "Fuck America" but in a positive way. I will improve the lives of those around me on an ongoing basis unless they are being total d-bags and then I'll just point at my junk and give them the finger.