And the announcer guy is talking about pounds and bangers-and-mash and lorries or whatever, but I'm not really paying attention because I'm trying to see his teeth... because I'm an asshole that's why. But his teeth are unspectacular in their normalcy so I go back to half-watching the news I don't care about and here's the part where I saw a funny story that I can relate to you and you'll be all "Oh Kurt! Without your tough but fair observations of the human condition to add humor to my day where would I be?" and then I would be all "Oh stop! We both know you'd be dead." and then we'd both laugh and I would drop a wink to the camera, and then the credits would roll. But I didn't actual see anything interesting except a guy sweeping up after an election celebration in Greece and I'm all "Is that even still a country?" and that isn't even a little bit interesting because it's not like the guy was sweeping up the heads of executed revolutionaries or anything. It was just papers. What a gyp.
So as you may or may not have guessed I don't have anything to write about this morning because of uncooperative Greeks and while I was watching I fell asleep on top of the half-empty package of dry ramen noodles I was eating, and when I woke up I had crazy ramen noodle dunes in my cheek skin and I felt like I had been drugged because I don't think you are supposed to eat all 10 spicy chicken flavor packets in one go or else your body will try to reject all your organs at once.
I'm not sure that's what happened. That's just my medical opinion. Also, I ran out of expired cat anti-depressants last week and started taking Tic-Tacs© instead, and I'm not sure they are having the desired effect on my psyche but at least I've stopped spending my whole day watching birds in the window and instead just want to bludgeon everyone I see with the business end of a plastic lightsaber.