Saturday, May 9, 2009

Pointless Saturday BullS-H-I-T.*

Because It's topical and I'm lazy and it's Saturday So I'm not even supposed to be here today! HAHAHA! Remember? From Clerks! Dante kept saying that and it was hysterical? Well now I'm saying it. Laugh Motherfucker!

*It totally doesn't work to spell out dirty words when you are writing because you can still read them. I feel like an English Teacher all the sudden. Like maybe some beautiful private school girl will stay after for assistance and I'll be all "Let's H-U-M-P" and she'll be all "Huh?". But then I write it on the board and she'll be all "Gross. I'm telling the principle." and then I'll be fired. But I will have learned a valuable lesson and knowing is half the battle. And maybe the other half of the battle ought to be stuffing stuck-up private school girls in my trunk after chloroforming them but I'm above that because I'm a Real American Hero©.

12 comments:

Captain Dumbass said...

When I think "American Hero," I think Kurt.

Captain Dumbass said...

But not hero in tight clingy spandex. I'm sure you're a very attractive man and all, I just don't go that way.

Soda and Candy said...

Those stuck up private-school bitches.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

I get confused between chloroforming and chlorophylling. The first is for rape and the second one is for flowers, right? Combine them and you have the perfect date. *sigh*

Kristine said...

The Principal is your PAL.

(I'm one of those said English teachers, but without the humping and stuff).

Kurt said...

@Cap'n D: You are totally right. Spandex makes everyone jealous of my glutes.

@Soda: I didn't say they were B-i-t-c-hes.

@SMU,Kid: I always get Colorforms© confused with chloroform. Once I tried to knock a "date" out with an adhesive plastic Bullwinkle©. It didn't work.

@Kristine: Wow. A lot of my readers are, or were English teachers. I think that probably says something about how talented I am.

Miss Yvonne said...

I'm totally doing that Danny Glover head roll thing the next time someone pisses me off. And then I'm going to shake my finger at them sternly. That'll teach 'em.

Chelle said...

Holy Shitballs. I JUST blogged about Panda violence, then decided to saunter over here to see what's up in Kurtland and WHAMMO. Panda violence ON your Blog.

It's everywhere, man.

Anna Russell said...

You, for the love of Silent Bob, are not just an American Hero, I declare you to be an honourary Scottish one too.

Love the new look by the way!

Dana's Brain said...

I think it's more, "I'm not even sposed to BE here today!" You know, more whiney.

Now I want to watch Lethal Weapon.

Char said...

I was going to do the pal thing too...but too late.

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