Friday, May 8, 2009

Mega-Sharks and The Chicken Dance and Just Oh Never You Mind

So It's Friday and that can only mean one thing. Just kidding. It can mean lots of things. Like how would me saying "It's Friday. " ever only mean one thing? If you're  literalistic then it means that tomorrow is Saturday, and if you are a Jewish than it means the Sabbath will start at sun down, and if you are your mom it means it's time for your weekly VD test and also something horrible about all the men you are sleeping with. 

And If you are me, it means I just wrote a new article on Mama Pop, and sure maybe we've talked about Mega-Shark Vs. Giant Octopus on here before, but I thought maybe you needed a reminder because you keep leaving your retainer on your plate after dinner and I swear to Christ if I throw it out,  you are digging through the garbage for it, just like in every after school special you've ever seen, except I won't be the supportive parent digging along with you, I'll be the asshole parent yelling "Get your fucking hands dirty, Princess!" while I drink cheap dime store hooch. I have no idea what "cheap dime store hooch" even is, but it sounds appropriately hobo, and there meets my needs as a visualization.

Seriously. Go read it. I'm hysterical. Ask anyone.

Here. Watch the Chicken Dance from Arrested Development.  If you have never seen the show I don't wish you were dead. But just maybe hit by a bus.  But a small bus. I mean... not full of handicapped kids or anything...that would be traumatic for them. Like the little shuttle bus that takes Seniors to Bingo. And it wouldn't hit you hard, just hard enough to break your legs. And Hey! Maybe while your in the hospital you could catch up on Arrested Development! It was the greatest show ever and that's a scientific fact.



9 comments:

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

The chicken dance bit totally reminds me of something you would write.

Mona Lott said...

You are not wrong!

Carolyn...Online said...

When do you think the scientists are going to come around to examine how your brain works?

FrankandMary said...

I won't be the supportive parent digging along with you, I'll be the asshole parent yelling "Get your fucking hands dirty, Princess!" while I drink cheap dime store hooch.

If I ever want to hear the white trash bell ringing loudly, I come here ;-0. ~Mary

Maggie May said...

AD is one of my top three favorite shows EVER

Pop and Ice said...

I left my occlusal guard (bite guard) on a cafeteria tray when I was, oh, 28 and I dug through the cafeteria garbage, after work, to find it. Nada. Had to replace the $600 dental appliance out of my own pocket as I could not survive without it.

I watched Arrested Development, including this episode and it always reminds me of "how am I possibly a part of this family" or "I must have been adopted".

Michelle said...

OH MY GOD that was hilarious.

Dude I think I have to put that video on my blog. COOL?

You are genius. WHY? I do not know!

Happy Mother's Day!!

miss. chief said...

wherever you posted that video from is racist. they won't let anybody outside of ye olde stars and stripes nation of the eagle and the walmart watch it.
fags

That Baldy Fella said...

I love Arrested Development an indecent amount. If the show was a woman, she'd be taking out a restraining order. Again.