Hattori Hanzo: I don't work well under pressure. Just give me a minute.
Me: (*hopping*) C'monC'monC'monCmon!
Hattori Hanzo: What are you 12?
Me: We have to post SOMETHING! Otherwise...
Hattori Hanzo: What? We won't be on vacation anymore?
Me: I know. I'm ridiculous.
Hattori Hanzo: Why not just...you know... not write ANYTHING?
Me: Beyoncé is really prententious to have that "e" with the squiggle.
Hattori Hanzo: You're stretching.
Me: Seriously. What's up with that? That é doesn't make her french or anything. It's not like I need to wear a monocle and a tophat to listen to her. It's Effing Destiny's Child.
Hattori Hanzo: This is just pathetic. Just go back to the couch and take another nap.
Me: And how come woman don't think it's weird to pay a doctor to fingerbang them?
Hattori Hanzo: Seriously. Just stop. It's okay...the people who read you will still be there when you get back.
Me: Hey watch! I can do a cartwheel!
Hattori Hanzo: No! Stop being an attention whore. Naptime.
Me: (*half cartwheels into wall*)
Hattori Hanzo: Well I hope your happy. That was your Mom's favorite Precious Moments© statuette.
Me: I had a Precious Moment with your Mom last night.
Hattori Hanzo:(*shakes head*)
Me: When I fucked her. Get it?
Hattori Hanzo: I really wish I was more than a literary construct. I would dump you in a heartbeat.
Me: Hold me.