"I'd like to thank your mom for always being there. I'd like to thank the guys who invented tartar contol toothpaste because now I don't ever have to go to the dentist and my teeth are invincible. I'd like to thank BMX bikes for being so rad when you do big jumps on them. I'd like to thank Hattori Hanzo for being a pushy d-bag..."
Hattori Hanzo: Wait...what?
Me: What, what?
Hattori Hanzo: You called me a pushy d-bag.
Me: It's okay, I can say that. I just can't say "douche".
Hattori Hanzo: My problem wasn't WITH the abbreviation.
Me: Then what's your problem?
Hattori Hanzo: My Problem is, you just called me a d-bag in front of the whole world.
Hattori Hanzo: Yeah. That's not very nice.
Me: Your Mom is very nice.
Hattori Hanzo: That is besides the point. And Your Mom is very nice.
Me: See? You get where I'm coming from...
Hattori Hanzo: Yeah. Valley of the Dicks. That's where you live.
Me: Your Mom comes fr...
Hattori Hanzo: Look I'm not in the mood. Just take that part out. I liked the toothpaste thing that was funny.
Me: I have to maintain my integrity. You'll have to fight me for it or be dishonored.
Hattori Hanzo: I'm not really Japanese, so who cares if I'm dishonored.
Me: Good point. Let's kickbox for it.
Hattori Hanzo: Stop. You don't know how to kickbox.
Me: Yes I do. Watch this. Waaaaa!
Hattori Hanzo: Yelling "Waaa!" at me and kicking over a lamp is not kickboxing... That cut looks nasty.
Me: Do not pity me! I am legend! Waaa!
Hattori Hanzo: Seriously Man, you're getting blood everywhere. And you look a little pale... did you nick an artery or something?
Me: Wow. This room is really spinny.
PS: Vote here: