So I'm singing along about how Mumble is a pirate but than for some reason they are playing the unedited copy and I'm all "Whoa! To the Extreme!" like I was Johnny Utah in a Mountain Dew commercial and then the bodies start hitting the floor and then I do a super-jump on my BMX and a guitar wails. But really all that happened is I heard the "sex" part so now I think the song is called "My Sex is a Pirate" and if you thought Mumble was a good name for a pirate then HOLD ON TIGHT! because "Sex" is even better. And then I thought about what it might mean for my sex to be a pirate and I wasn't sure if they meant like my penis or the act or maybe someone else's vagina and it's confusing when your having sex and you know something in here is a fucking pirate but your not sure what so you end up always looking over your shoulder for someone to be sneaking up behind you to slit your throat. Or to steal your boat and you're not even sure what the "boat" is but in a sexual encounter it's not good to have anything stolen except maybe for innocence.
And then the DJ announced the song was called "Sex on Fire" and there were no pirates and no mumbles and I was all "Sex on Fire? That's a stupid name for a song." and then I ordered a another latte and the guy at the window was thinking 'Not this handsome guy again!", I'm guessing. From now on I'm singing "Your Sex is a Pirate"when I hear that song because I'm an outsider, but not Ponyboy© for obvious reasons.
Note: This is your sex. Not a Pirate.
*totally a word. If you take the time to look it up then you've wasted so much time that I could throw up. You're just going to have to trust me on this one.