Wednesday, March 25, 2009

True Story

Handsome Genius Prankster: Excuse me.
No-Sense-of-Humor-Having-Clerk: Yes.
HGP: Could you tell me where the "Bromance" section is?
Doesn't-Bathe-Regularly, Used-to-Get-Beat-Up-in-High-School, Unattractive-to-Women-Clerk: Umm..Over there?
HGP: (*looking*) No. That's romance. I'm looking for "BROmance"
Totally-Not-Thinking-I'm-Funny-Even-Though-Everyone-Knows-I'm-A-Laff-Riot Clerk: Bromance?
HGP: Yeah. You know. With two guys who are friends and they...
Not-Even-A-Smirk-Because-He's-Too-Busy-Molesting-Animals-In-His-Mind Clerk:We don't have one of those.


Steam Me Up, Kid said...

i would have been like pleasebeadickpleasebeadickpleasebeadick and crossed my fingers for luck. My blog is suffering lately. I need more dick in my life.

(too easy?)

Also, I would like a nickname that ends with -ster.

Kurt said...

@Sexy Acrobat Hipster: Yes. Too easy. You didn't even add a "ha-cha-cha-cha-cha!!" and waggle your derby for the studio audience.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

I missed my calling as a writer for Married With Children.

Soda and Candy said...

Wow what a loser that clerk was! People with no sense of humor deserve to be stabbed in the eye.

Vic said...

I hate when people won't play, and he can't even claim your Depression Beard scrambled his brains. (Yes! One beard at a time) He's just stupid.

Me too! a -ster nickname, that is.

Kurt said...

@Sexy Acrobat Hipster: You had so much potential.

@Soda: I agree. Anything that can't be solved with a simple stab to the eye, isn't one worth solving.

@Beautiful Gypsy Dragster: In fairness I had to drop down to a Depression Beard Light© , which is just a stupid goatee because people kept throwing change at me every time I stopped moving.

Vic said...

My kids saw a homeless man next to the dollar store yesterday (on the way to the dentist) and my son thought it was my husband. "Why is Daddy sitting in the bushes?"

Goatee is better.

I love my nickname. I'm getting a T-Shirt made right now.

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

You're so awesome. I saw you I Love You Man, the feel good bro-mance of the year. It pretty much kicked ass.

Miss Yvonne said...

You forgot to finish your true story. Come on, I know Handsome Genius Prankster totally kicked Can't-Get-It-Up-Without-Being-Spanked-And-Being-Called-A-Bad-Boy-Clerk in the throat.

sour said...

okay, well i don't know where you go to rent movies, but at MY video store we have a bromance section, like, half the store is bromance. i'd let you rent from us, but we're actually quite exclusive. maybe next year.

Kurt said...

@Vic: Remember "tight" is EVERYONE's Friend.

@SBA: I wan't to that one. Looks hysterical. LOL!

@Miss Yvonne: I was waiting for the Director's Cut on DVD

@Sour: It was a book store. And by "bookstore" I mean Porn Store.

Michelle said...

I love you man!!


Mona Lott said...

Who ARE these people?! When I was a clerk with no life, I lived for the occasional witty/molesterish customer.

Dana's Brain said...

I think you should take over that video store and get those people some kind of sense of humor! At least then you could torture them and get paid for it too!

Carolyn...Online said...

And next you'll go into the video store and ask for the dickflick section right? Right?!

Kurt said...

@Michelle: I understand this. LOL!

@Infinity Cocks:Mostly Molesterish.

@Dana: Good Point! HAAHAHA

@Carolyn: Nice. You Ma'am are a true hero. "dickflick" is the new black.

Kerry said...

Oh great. Now when I log on to my HR message boards later, I'm going to see a post that says, "Got a call from an employee who says he was harassed by a customer last night. What is our liability? Can we ban the customer for harassment?"

For real.