Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Questioning The Answers: Week Four

Last week's question got 29 responses, so I'm pretty much sure that the whole internet is infiltrated with people who want to have sex with fish, because those 29 people are just the brave ones willing to speak out. Here's the question and the #1 answer.



Now at least half the people were all "That's gross" or "Sick." but they apparently are out of touch with the real issues we are facing globally today and what with the ice caps melting and the snow bears running wild, and our money exploding, and vampires we have to be more understanding if people want to have sex with fish. It's in the Bible.  I mean...not fish fuckers... but like that sign they hold up at the football games says "John 3:16", and I don't know who John is or if that's his locker combination or what, but I think it means judge not lest ye turn into fishes and loaves of bread or whatever. I'm pretty much a biblical scholar so just take my word for it. We need to feel empathy...like this person:

Yeah! I think we've all drooled over a hot anime demon or Legolas, so it's pretty much like "We are the World". The point is well made. Obviously, Elves left this realm at the beginning of the Third Age and turned into fish and also some fish are demons from Japan, so laugh all you want but it'll be your ass in a sling if you have a satanic trout hanging off your wang. Internet logic is THE BEST logic. 

And here's this person:

who totally wasn't picking up what I was laying down and if I saw this guy on the street I would be all 'Fuck! That guy's a cartoon!" but then I would remember that that is racist and against the Geneva Convention and I would try to give him a hug because if the Lion King taught us anything, it's that we are one.

Since the sex question went over so well, I made this weeks a little more "spicy". We'll see what what mysteries we can shed light on, when the internet responds.*


* The "This chick is like Wolverine" part is the best part, I think.

28 comments:

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

I like how "of pedophilia" is a tag now. It's here to stay, it seems.

Also, we are so ready for bible school instruction it's crazy. 3:16 was the final score of the pre-last supper wiffle ball game between the disciples and the apostles.

Anna Russell said...

I want best answer this time Kurt. Damn your leaving it to go to the vote.

Chelle said...

Screw the Lion King. What about Ariel & Prince Eric? They even had crabs.

Kurt said...

@SMU, Kid: "Of Pedophilia" is the new "Wolverines!!". I am totally ready for our Jesus School. I went out this weekend and got a cape and cowl just like His.

@Anna Russell: If I could figure out who you were I would vote for you.

@Chelle: No talking monkeys in the Little Mermaid. Plus: Eels.

Nikki said...

I answered this to the best of my ability which probably means my answer bites butt.

Nikki said...

...and Anna is TOTALLY Bonnie. Haha I told a secret.

Anna Russell said...

Nikki! Tsk, tsk. Only, we had a whole conversation about that on the comments of one of my posts and Kurt totally missed it, so the tsk, tsk, should really be for him and not you.

Brandy Rose said...

"like Wolverine" hmm, that could go in so many directions...

Kurt said...

@Nikki: I KNEW who she was. Her name means Waulking Songs in Scottish or something. You shouldn't have tattled.

@Anna: Tsking Me? Pfft! and Badonkadonk! I say.

Kurt said...

@Brandy Rose: So GO! GO! Go!

Vic said...

I read SMUK's wiffle-ball comment and thought, disciples/apostles? same employment pool, so then they would just be playing with themselves. Nicely done.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some hot anime demon porn to get back to.

Nikki said...

@ Kurt I did no such thing. I felt special for like ten seconds and then you ripped it away.

Kurt said...

@Vic: Enjoy the tentacles!

@Nikki: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shatter your victory.

Moonkee said...

I keep waiting for "ichthy-" to turn up here somewheres and it keeps not happening.

Also, this is what brought down Troy McClure earlier in his career.

Mandy's Kidding said...

"Wolverine" makes me think of the movie "Teeth" or something like that. It was about dentata castrata (did I make that up) or loosely translated, "Pussy with Fangs."

Kurt said...

@Moonkee: I did have several Ichthyphiles suggested, but the other answers "Eww...gross" were funnier.

Kurt said...

@Mandy: I remember that all too well from the MS days. Everyone was talking about it for a while. Glad I could bring back the Happy Days for you...when men were men and vaginas had teeth. I think Not Kat was big on it.

TishTash said...

I thought the Lion King taught us that Hakuna Matata means you have to eat bugs.

Kurt said...

@TishTash: I always get my religious messages mixed up. Like once I thought "Jesus saves." was about hockey.

Brown-Eyed Girl said...

I thought Hakuna Matata meant that farting a green fog was forgivable.

I'm new. Are we answering this roofies question?

If we are, my answer would be...how comatose would she like to be before you get on for a ride? She might want to take like 5?

Prosy said...

THANK GOD I wasn't at work when I read this. Instead, I was at home, so I got to laugh outloud happily for like 10 minutes, and only the dogs thought I was weird.

Brown-Eyed Girl said...

Keep in mind, I was answering Vin not you. Seeing as it was Vin who asked the question.

; )

*giggles*

Kurt said...

@BE Girl: Whew. I don't know which one you were but hopefully not the angry one. Eeek! Make one roofie joke and suddenly you're a "bad guy".

@Prosy: Yay! Win!

Anonymous said...

maybe you could come fuck a few fish for when the people get tired of watching the baboons fellate each other's sisters.

Kurt said...

@Anonymous: Your comment was like biting into a delicious bon-bon and having it be filled with craziness and bees.

Star Kicker said...

Are you using the anal roofies? Because those absorb more quickly provided there is no leakage.

Kurt said...

@Star Kicker: I had a hard enough time holding her mouth open.

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

My boyfriend and I were just talking about a time when his ex slipped him some X. Which I thought would be kind of cool, him not so much.

I totally think these questions could start world wide peace.