Sorry. Pulp Fiction was on this weekend.
So anyway(s) I'm going through my collection and rating all my songs from one to five stars and pretty much everything is getting a four or a five because every time I find a song that is only a two or a three, I'm all " Why the Eff is THIS mediocre piece of crap in my collection?**" and then I discard it and the stupid effing "Are you sure you want to do that, because DUDE it's like going to be REALLY erased if you do?" window keeps coming up because I forget to check the little "Remember this action?" box EVERY FUCKING TIME so I am made to feel like a special needs computer user, but I still click "Okay"*** without checking the box, and then I shake my head and give the next 40 songs at least four stars so the box won't pop up. And then I have a bunch of songs that are really only threes hanging out with all the awesome music I love because I hate the pop-up so much and really, who am I kidding? If I can't give "Ice Ice Baby" four stars in the privacy of my own home, than what is the point of living.****
My whole collection is now all fours and fives so I have to go through and re-rate everything so my actual favorite songs are the only ones with the highest scores, but I start to feel bad because they are all pretty good and who the hell am I to give "Stairway to Heaven" only two stars and maybe "Johnny Ryall" ISN'T the best track on "Paul's Boutique" but that whole album is perfect so just shut up, Kurt and I feel guilty giving any song a low score... like they are going to get pissed off and think I hate them or something. Also, all the music I buy on iTunes gets at least four stars because I actually paid for it, so crappy tracks from "Death Magnetic" that I bought with the gift card I got for my birthday will get artificially high scores, so I don't erase them even though I probably wouldn't buy that album with my own money. It's all effed up is my point and now I have it on random and it's playing KC and The Sunshine Band followed by Ratt followed by an audio clip of the Fart Song from Family Guy and my whole music collection pretty much is the worst thing ever, except for Nazis because those guys were dicks.
* It totally still took me two tries to spell this word right and you would think after I blogged about never getting it right on the first try I would, ironically, learn how to spell it. But I haven't. So screw you, Irony. HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!*****
**I would probably swear though, because I'm edgy like James Dean and hard as nails like Al Swearengen on "Deadwood". I'm also like Al Swearengen because I like calling women "whores" which really ruffles some feathers at Cub Scouts, but these kids aren't going to teach themselves.
*** Am I the only one who sighs in defeat every time I press the "Okay" button. Like, why not just make it a "yes"? Would that be so hard to program? Or if I was running Microsoft they would all say "FUCK YEAH!!" and when you pushed it, there would be the sounds of fireworks and artillery shells landing on terrorists and women having orgasms and a voice would say "You are SO handsome!!" and then I would go out and conquer the world, except I already DID because I'm running Microsoft so it totally already worked.
****Boobies. That's what.
***** Picking fights with Irony is pretty much the dumbest idea ever.