I like how much this looks like a Saul Bass poster. Retro!
It's about time someone made a movie about how scary-boring it is trying to watch marine mammals. I can't say for sure that the people who made Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre are geniuses because maybe they are just idiot savants or something and know a lot about how to make films... like that's what they can do instead of counting toothpicks, but they have almost no people skills and get super-upset when they miss American Idol or whatever, but this movie pretty much makes everything else ever filmed look like a laminated dog turd. And if you think it's an easy or clean or pleasant-smelling operation to laminate excrement than you didn't work at the same Kinko's I did.
The movie is a sensitive portrayal of people doing stuff on a boat*, and then everything goes to hell and there seems to be a disproportionate number of hooks involved so look out!! Also, I went out on a river dolphin-watching trip once and to sum up: My Friend says: "Ooo! Look another grey hump in the water!" and then I say "Your Mom is a grey hump." and then we get asked to leave, but it's a boat so we just have to sit there for another hour watching the waterline for more grey humps and knowing everyone else wishes we were dead. THAT'S HOW MASSACRES START, is my point.
A description that I don't know where it comes from, but I read it on The Quiet Earth and if you say not knowing the source of a quote undermines my journalistic integrity than obviously you are not my BFF anymore and I totally am going to call my Mom in the middle of our next overnight crying because you're being mean and totally soaked my underwear in ketchup because you heard I just got my period. Wait...what? Sorry. Fugue state. Here:
An epic tale about a group of whale watchers, whose ship breaks down and they get picked up by a whale fisher vessel. The Fishbillies on the vessel has just gone bust, and everything goes out of control.
That's right...they used the term "Fishbillies" which is what I am going to call pretty much everyone from now on, so that when the priest says "Yes. My child?" I will say "Forgive me Father for I have sinned, you goddamn Fishbilly!" and then he will gasp because of how derogatory and maybe a little blasphemous** that sounds and then he'll be all 'Get out of the booth, Kurt. I thought I told you, you had to be Catholic to confess your sins?" and then I make a joke about his Mom and play an air guitar riff and run away. I'm also trying to figure out what "has just gone bust" means and if I can expect some boobies in this bad boy or what.
Warning: This video is from Iceland and they brought us Bjork, so they probably don't find splattery axe-to-the-head sounds and blood fountains disturbing, but if you do, then maybe don't watch this....
* I take my research seriously. Even though the facts are sketchy on this, I'm pretty sure we can all agree that Pringles© brand potato crisps are delicious.***
* I can't say for sure if that is blasphemy or not because my "Kickass Biblical Scholar" certificate expired in '08. Also, I made it myself so I'm not sure it is a valid religious artifact.
*** Dear Pringles© jerks, I still don't have that endorsement deal so unless you want me to say that eating Pringles© will make you shit blood for a year, you better get cracking. I think by this point everyone reading knows I am unimpeachable as far as my endorsements go.