Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Reader Spotlight: Trodo McCracken

So TrodoMcCracken is totally offering me a chance to see the word "wang" written on the moon if I blog about her, and while I don't normally take requests, maybe I should start because it leads to donuts and I'm a cheap enough slut to go for it. Also, donuts are delicious so shut up.

The tricky thing is, that some people have accused me of BEING Trodo and it is very hard to disprove you are someone when they also seem to like dinosaurs in sunglasses with rocket packs and you've already written a screenplay that features a T. Rex with a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher. That's like a crazy coincidence. That's like opening a can of sardines and finding not one but TWO Spanish Doubloons. And I'm not sure if that's the right way to spell doubloons but spell check is saying "fuck it, I guess so." so it must be close.

I didn't know how to approach it, since I don't KNOW Trodo other than as an internet peep, yo*... but then I found a "Valentine Wishes" list for my son where every kid in his class had to say something nice about him, despite the fact that he doesn't know them all... so I will replicate this list for Trodo and then collect my donut.

1) Trodo does a good job at writing her blog and spells things correctly.
2) Trodo has brown hair unless she has posted fake pictures of herself.
3) Trodo knows kung fu and that means she knees people in the junk, and that is funny.
4) Trodo spells "pooping" like this : "pewpin'" which I thought meant "Pew! Pew! Pew!" at first but after a week she clarified. 
5) Trodo raised a group of turtles in the sewers and taught them ninjitsu and now they can totally talk and fight crime and they love pizza.
6) Trodo is the leader of the kind Autobots who help save the world from Megatron and the forces of evil.
7) Trodo died when Khan blew up the Enterprise but was resurrected on Genesis in time to save the whales in Star Trek IV
8)Trodo was born with 8 fingers on her right hand so when she tries to flip someone off she just sticks up her pinkie because THAT used to be her middle finger and the person she is insulting just looks at her all confused.
9) Trodo is from Canada where the government is run by Polar Bears and she lives in an igloo and can catch seals in her bare teeth, but doesn't because she is a snowetarian.
10) That's all the made up stuff I feel like for now. But it is all totally true. Consult an almanac and you'll see.

Next Week: Anna Russell!!

*Mad street cred, yo!


Anna Russell said...

You were nearly in trouble till I saw the bit you added on at the end. Now I don't need to get all "But Trodo got a blog post, I want a blog post" and say Ku-urt in a way that makes your name sound like it has two or three syllables.

Also, Trodo is batshit insane. And when I say that, I mean it as a compliment. She looks awesome with a beard too.

Anna xxx

Vic said...

I thought "pewpin" meant "smelly", like PeeUU-pin, only spelled wrong.

Also her current avatar is simultaneously really cool, and scary at the same time, because it WATCHES me...

Kurt said...

@ Anna Russell: Please forward a fact sheet for me to bastardize prior to next week's blog. Thank you.

@ Vic: I liked the dinosaur better, because I like dinosaurs better than most things. And that monkey-hotdog thing is totally creepy = Awesome.

Maggie May said...

i never knew about Trodo and now i know why.

TrodoMcCracken said...

Ha ha ha, Oh Kurt, you totally know everything about me, it's like creepy that you know this much!

Lori said...

I'm the real Trodo. The other one is a cheap replica.

Lori said...

And before this goes any further, I am also Anna, and not of the faker on your list.

I know, it's kinda stalkery, but I am what I am.

TrodoMcCracken said...

Also, just to clarify, my Hotdog Monkey is Gordo the first spacemonkey to ever blow up in space. I thought his tinfoil spacesuit looked lonely so I gave him condiments.

Kurt said...

@Maggie May: She's a special lady that's for sure.

@Lori: I should like to point out the real Anna is from Great Britain, while you are just a subjugate of that nation.

@Trodo: Thank you for clarifying about the exploding space monkey, because i had no idea why you had a monkey dressed up like a hot dog, but now it makes sense.

Char said...

uhhh, yeah.....perfect. I think you're having your Sybil moments - or at least the united nations of Tara.

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

I'm cracking up because I think she offered to carve a giant wang into the moon, not the word wang! The word wang carved into the moon reminds me of when I was a kid in elementary school and kids would carve bad words like "tits" and "butt" into the desks.

Also, some Chinese kid somewhere would probably be all, "Yes! I OWN the moon, bitch!"

Kurt said...

@Char: I swear to God, the anti-psychotics are working like a charm, she's totally someone else!

@SMU,K: HAHAHAHA! You're right. It was a picture of a giant wang carved in the moon. Good Show, Holmes, Old Chap!

Miss Yvonne said...

Thank goodness, I was beginning to worry I was the only snowetarian on the planet.

Anna Russell said...

Lori, if you're me can you clean up the pee my rabbit just did on the couch and go into work for me tomorrow? Also, pay the bills. They're the big pile in red ink next to the dishes that need done.

Walter said...

Sense no one else has, I have to: thank you so much for including a Star Trek IV whale reference.

Brandy Rose said...

I'm so jealous.

Kurt said...

@Miss Yvonne: You people ARE rare but legendary. Like unicorns.

@Walter: I'm glad my horrible references aren't COMPLETELY overlooked.

@Brandy: You just made the list, Toots. :)