but nothing is coming back super-funny so I try to go crazier, and I typed "I want to stick it in your armpit". Now, if you were to ask me why that phrase was the first thing to pop into my mind I would probably just look at you blankly for a minute and then fake a seizure, only you wouldn't know I was faking and you might stick your wallet in my mouth while you waited for the ambulance, so I would totally a) have your wallet and b) not have to answer the question. Win/win. I don't think that is any reflection on me is my point, if you are a sicko who wants to know where that link takes you,you'll have to look it up for yourself. As for me. I was sidetracked by this question:
Toothpaste? Armpit? Wait...what?
I guess of all the things you could put in your armpit, toothpaste makes a modicum of sense. I mean...it DOES eliminate smells. But that wasn't what the question implied. It says "..GIVES you..." and that, dear friends is why I gave up on my porn-based research and followed the link*. I HAD to know what it gave you. Superpowers? Gold Coins? A natural pheromone that attracts all members of the opposite sex like moths to a bug zapper? And the answer! "While I don't recommend putting strange things in your armpits..." is just BEGGING for a "BUT". (That's what she said!)
So I went and looked and it turns out putting toothpaste in your armpit just gives you a sticky, albeit minty-fresh armpit and no gold coins or superpowers or dwarves to do your bidding, and that's the dumbest witchcraft I've ever heard of and I want my money back. Seriously. If your going to tease me with putting weird stuff in your armpits than it ought to at least be a terrific lie that captures the imagination. So I helped.