So I'm going to my first post-employment job interview and I think I am totally ready to impress them because I have picked out my clothes and ironed them and it was hard to finally take off the bathrobe but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I like job interviews because they give me a unique opportunity to talk about how wonderful I am without people going "Man. That guy is arrogant. I wish he'd shut up." but what the hell do they know? They're riding the bus too, so it's not like they're so great. Job interviews are completely opposite from the time a guy asked me to stop talking about all my positive qualities so he could concentrate and I just flexed my muscles at him and said "Aargh!" like a pirate and he was all "This prostate exam is only going to take that much longer if you don't stop screwing around." That guy was a jerk. At least I don't EXPECT any anal probing during the interview process, but what do I know? I'm not a mind-reader.
I think I'm going to go with the glow-in-the-dark vampire teeth, because they say "Yeah, I'm a super-powerful creature of the night, but I am not without whimsy." and I think that would make me a valuable asset to pretty much every company on the planet and also I want to suggest that the company change their logo to incorporate a cool-ass panda like the World Wildlife fund© and if they think that's a bad idea then obviously they suck, because putting bears or zombies or monsters on your logo is the way of the new millenium and if they're stuck in the 20th century, than screw them. I'm also going with the Superman cape instead on the regular one. I think we all know why.
Hattori Hanso: You aren't really going out in public like that are you?
Kurt: Look, do you want this job or not?
HH: At least put some pants on.
Kurt: What? You want to work for a bunch of prudes?
HH: I'm just going to keep my mouth shut.
Kurt: Your Mom wishes she could keep her mouth shut!