I can totally see myself standing in a swatch of yellow, arc-sodium light in the rain and the cars are rushing past and their tires are hushing me and I look up in to the roiling, storm-filled sky and then I think "Don't Stop Believin'!" and then lightning strikes and the lights go out and then the dream diverges because in one version I am suddenly revitalized and I stand up tall and square my shoulders and trudge off into the night to seek my fate and address those who would do me wrong in a straight-forward manner and that is the end of all my problems.
And in the other version I am electrocuted.
So I went and watched a Journey video on Youtube©, and it was pretty much the worst thing I've ever seen unless white guys fake-running around a stage with bad hair is suddenly a good thing and I didn't get the memo. And now my eyes pretty much hate me forever and they are going to start giving me hallucinations or not perceiving things correctly out of spite. And now whenI do my color corrections in Photoshop everyone will be all "Dude, why did you make her skin orange? She looks like a pumpkin. " and I'll be all "Huh?" and they'll be all "Is this part of your artistic vision or something?" and I'll be all "No. My eyes hate me ever since I watched that stupid Journey video."
And Steve Perry has bad hair and his pants are so tight you can see all his junk. And now my eyes REALLY hate me**.
WARNING: EYES WILL HATE YOU AFTER THIS!
Why do they all cheer when he sings "South Detroit"?
Also, this song is pretty much the rockingest ever...so shut up. Hate the game, not the players.
*"Boulevard" always looks like it's spelled wrong so I've discovered a naturally occurring optical illusion and I don't know if there is a Nobel Prize for that, so you can just give be the one for "hot dogs" or whatever.
** I wish yellow, leopard-print, sleeveless, man-blouses had never gone out of style, but it's a secret wish like the one I have where the cop who hangs out at the donut shop will suddenly disappear and then I can leap the counter and steal an ass-ton of jelly-filleds. Every shooting star I see hears THAT one and it still hasn't happened.