Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Tale of The Magic Burrito

I'm now sure that I had a magical burrito for lunch on Tuesday. I mean...ever since I had it, all I want to do is eat another one, and I have seriously contemplated driving over to Taco John's* who made it for me, despite the weather being homicidal and out for extreme vengeance. And I think that is pretty much a sure sign I've been hypnotized or am under some kind of burrito spell cast on me by an evil wizard from Slytherin. Or maybe it was a good wizard who just wants me to enjoy the greatest burrito in the universe because it knows my mouth has been sad ever since I finished it.

In fact, this burrito was so good that I named an emotion after it. From now on whenever I feel that pride that comes from eating just the right amount of food despite wanting more, I will call it "burrito".  So if someone asks if I had enough to eat, I will just say "I'm feeling pretty damn burrito, thank you very much**" and if they don't know what that means then they aren't reading my blog and they're not much of a friend, but what can I expect when I sit down and share a can of beans with the hobos? It's not like they have wireless broadband in their handkerchief on the end of a stick. I need to stop being so judgemental. Because being awesome is no excuse for trodding on everyone else. I learned that from "The Breakfast Club". THANKS JOHN HUGHES!!

I still want another burrito.

The End.

* Taco John's is the old name of "John's Tex Mex" but "Taco John's" sounds dirty so I like to say that instead. 

**Manners are very important. One time, I was on the bus and I offered my seat to a lady and she took it without saying thank you, so I punched her in the face and stole her purse and now she has learned her lesson and is very polite all the time.***

*** I just made that up. She's still a dick.****

**** I also made up this whole thing, so I'm sorry, but I have a duty to inform people, because knowing is half the battle, and battling is the other half but you can't just go around punching people so I'll stick to the knowing half of the battle.


Lori said...

It's 7:30, and I want one of these magical burritos. You, Sir, are the devil.

Brandy Rose said...

Taco John's....I totally got the *you said a dirty word* giggles

Kurt said...

@Lori: 7:30 is the perfect time for a burrito

@ Brandy Rose: It was that or we could have gone to "Cock Pimp" for some chicken.

Char said...

hmmmm, we don't have Taco Johns. But...maybe it's like Moes, and in that case - damn you. Now I guess I have to go there for lunch instead of eating my leftover chili.

Anonymous said...

Kurt, there is a picture of a dressed up wild ass in your blog.


Kurt said...

@Char: Taco John's isn't a franchise, I don't think. But it should be. I hope Moe's will suffice. (We don't have Moe's here.)

@ CajunSoleil: I'm not discussing the donkey or it's presence here. I'm mysterious.

Anonymous said...

Is that lipstick I see?


Anna Russell said...

This post was totally burrito.

Anna xxx