Hattori was asking me how I felt and thought that maybe by plumbing the depths of my psyche we could come up with some really weird shit to write about, which I'm sure is absolutely corrrect, but when he asked me the first word I thought of to describe my feelings, it was "burrito" because I was still thinking about yesterday's blog and the second word to come to my mind was "porn".
That's not to say I'm into "burrito porn" because I'm not even sure what that is, but it sounds messy and contortiony and I'm not in the mood for anything like that (today). Hattori then pointed out to me that "porn" wasn't an emotion, and then I tried to make an argument that it WAS an emotion. And he asked me to describe it, and I said it was when you were too lazy to have sex when it was available. And then Hattori reminded me that it wasn't available unless I was thinking the neighbor's cat looked enticing and I said that was gross and then we stopped talking for a while, because he knew he had crossed a line, but I forgave him soon enough and now we're just hungry and not "burrito" at all.
I also don't understand why Facebook is telling me that 5 of my friends secretly hate me. It was one thing when I was able to think that you all had crushes on me, because that is totally reasonable, but since I didn't fall into that spam trap, it has resorted to being mean. I'm sorry, Facebook but I don't think my friends secretly hate me and I'm not going to click on the link to find out who because it will probably take me to a porn site, and as I pointed out earlier I'm already feeling "porn" and don't have the ambition for any funny business today.
Hattori Hanzo: Congratulations. You just blogged about nothing at all.
Kurt: Don't start with me, Convention. I brought you into this world and I can take you out.
Hattori Hanzo: You stole that from Bill Cosby.
Kurt: Your Mom stole it from Bill Cosby.
Hattori Hanzo: Stole what?
Kurt: I don't know... the good Huxtable name?
Hattori Hanzo: This is dumb, we should probably stop now.
ps: Somebody hacked roadsigns in Texas to warn about the Impending Zombie Apocalypse* and that was way funnier than this blog so allow me to post a picture of it. A note to the sourpuss lady in the video who was all "This is a serious problem.": Shut up.