I was a big proponent of the plush uterus friend when it came out. I was all "Ha ha ha! It's a uterus! Only stuffed!" You could also get a liver, a heart, a pancreas, or lungs. But I didn't care about those. I wanted the uterus because I'm like 12 in my own head and the uterus is just a hop, skip and a jump away from the vagina, and if I had a pet one I would have all the opportunities in the world to work both words into my daily conversations, and that is the gift that keeps on giving.
Except now there is a safety recall on the uterus because some dumb kid choked on an ovary or something and ruined it for the rest of us. I would mention all the funny quotes in the recall notice like "If the plush uterus is being used by a young child, please remove it immediately" or "for information on how to return your uterus for a refund or exchange for any other organ" but that would take all the joy of discovery away from you, Dear Reader. And I am all about giving back to the community. Like the time I raided the Salvation Army Drop box for a new sweater and sorta shoved the rest back in when I found a cool Spongebob action figure instead.
Some people think I'm a saint. I totally get that.