Monday, December 8, 2008

This Blog Uses the Word "Pan-Sexual" Too Much

Over the weekend we watched some Arrested Development (again. but not like "Again?...(sigh)... Jesus Christ! Why can't we do something else?!?"...more like "Yay!") and now I can't get the phrase "pan-sexual bizarre" out of my head, so when the lady at Tim Horton's asks me if I ordered a large or an extra-large Cafe Mocha (Extra large...duh.), all I think is "pan-sexual bizarre" and when my boss asks if I had a nice weekend I hear "pan-sexual bizarre" (which it totally wasn't, because I looked up the Wiki definition of the prefix "Pan-" and it means "all" or "of all members" which made me giggle a little because I am 12.) and when the Ex- calls up and asks if I know when the Winter concert for Honors Chorus is, I hear "Pan-Sexual Bizarre" because it's just stuck in there.

And I always hear it said in Ron Howard's voice, which I don't think means anything because that was the voice I heard it in during the show, but I'm not shut to the idea that I might potentially be haunted by the ghost of some repressed,traumatic, pan-sexual memory from my childhood or maybe that's just the usual way people hear the words "pan-sexual bizarre" and I'm totally "normal".

So of course, I googled the words "pan-sexual" to see if the memory I'm repressing might be something awesome like being molested by a hot babysitter or something and the first thing it came up with was an article from Gawker about a guy who proclaimed himself to be pan-sexual. Wow. I had no idea you could do that. And that made me wonder if maybe there is a pan-sexual dating service like Match.com, but then it occurred to me that pan-sexuals don't really need a dating service because being pan-sexuals they could just find a provocative-looking tree or something. And then I realized I was thinking about it too much and then my boss called and asked me for the results of the 10K benchmark thermal flow measurements and when I told him he said "That's bizarre."

(*cue Ron Howard*)*



* UPDATE: This would have been funnier if I had said "cue Opie".


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