Monday, December 8, 2008

A Christmas Miracle

Baby Jesus was never stalked by a polar bear. I'm just asking for clarification on what I thought to be a known fact. I would think any arctic animals would find the heat of the Middle Eastern Desert to be a bit too oppressive for any kind of prolonged hunting activity. I look back down to verify that I saw that right. Yep. Sure enough. There's a polar bear lurking just behind the food trough in the kids' Nativity scene.

There is also a problem with Joseph. He was dropped a couple years ago and when I superglued his head back on I accidentally (at least that's what I'm claiming) put it on at a goofy angle. He looks like he might need a neck brace, which of course gets me thinking about ancient, mid-road, high speed, donkey collisions.

Closer inspection also reveals a penguin, a cougar,a threatening-looking hyena perched over the cradle, a Clone Trooper, Darth Vader, and a hand drawn sketch of a lemur posted on the wall of the manger like a travel poster, which when you think about it is pretty impressive considering the Middle East was a long way from the small island nation of Madagascar, who I doubt had a very large advertising budget in 0 AD. To have promotional materials visible and prominently displayed in a tiny manger in Bethlehem was quite an impressive feat of advertising. I would debate, however, that the marketing team was not hitting their core demographic in the "pregnant virgin and impoverished carpenter on forced pilgramage" set. Although, who knows... maybe Joseph had some disposable income, I mean they were a young couple, out on the town, she can't drink so the bar bills are cheap. Maybe that is exactly the kind of people Madagascar was looking to court.


This year's manger scene is even better than last year's, when at some point, the baby Jesus was mysteriously transmorgified into a circus peanut. I'm not sure where that falls on the blasphemy scale, but I think the whole thing was made worse by the fact that I found the cat hunkered over the nativity devouring what I thought was the only Son of God, but turned out to just be a delicious, orange, marshmallowey confection. He was musically chewing it out of the side of his mouth and drooling a little, while the tiny Wise Men, tipped over and askew on the fake stacks of hay, looked on in horror.


What a magical Christmas that first one was, is my point.

6 comments:

Cree. said...

I'm now looking around my cube pondering how to turn a fez-topped bobblehead monkey, Obi Wan, Sleeping Beauty, Smoking Donkey and Catduck into a manger scene. Possible in my wee zen garden and with my Florida license plate as backdrop.

Kurt said...

You need a blueberry to play the baby Jesus.

Cree. said...

As fate would have it, there is a shriveled one on hand after all...

(That's what she said)

Kurt said...

You would think I would no longer laugh at "That's what she said.".

You would be horribly, horribly mistaken.

Elly said...

That is one awesome Nativity scene. I think the homey touch of lemur art is my favorite.

Kurt said...

Lemur art improves most things. It's a known fact.