Interesting News Unless You're A Dick

The Boys are Back in Town! Boys are Back in Tow-ow-ow-owwwwn!

Maybe you are thinking "Kurt, the handsomest scoundrel on the Internet hasn't posted in a really long time, I wonder what he is up to and if he is single." Well, I am NOT single, because I will always have my cat and that cat loves the shit out of me. Also, I still have Beautiful Treasure and she thinks I'm alright when I remember to shower, but I don't even KNOW when she became such a Diva. It's like giving me access to her vagina gives her the right to gently point out growth opportunities. Well, Eff that! I've got you're growth opportunity right here, Bucko! (*grabs junk. Realizes how itchy it is. contemplates shower.*)

Well the good news is that my stupid hours at my stupid job are about to change and what that means is less pants time and more "writing dumb shit on the Internet time". So I'm totally going to be all up in your grills, yo. It'll be like having a sexy friend to hang out with all the time, and this friend is so sexy you don't ever feel the need to point out that the sheets on his bed have a giant hump at the bottom where all the dirty socks go when he's falling asleep, and you also would never dream of pointing out to him that it's not normal for a car to sound like a German half-track with one track blown off and maybe you should get that muffler looked at and you would definitely never give him a sad and mildly disgusted look when he sits down to his dinner of 3 lbs of mild Italian sausage, because you understand that no matter what he's beautiful on the inside but especially on the outside.

What I'm trying to say is go to The Roaring Dork because that's where the Site News is and you should totally subscribe if you haven't already because no matter what, I'm your friend and would never steer you wrong unless it was for sure funny enough to make me snicker or if some hot sexy decent reasonable passable chick will give me a mouthjay if I screw you over. Go. Now.